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  • Kassandra Vaughn

TTC Over 40: Next Steps When the IVF Clinic Says You're Too Old for IVF

The last few weeks haven't been great on the TTC at 45 journey.

I was working with reproductive endocrinologist (RE) at the IVF clinic who, from Consult #1, told me I had less than a 1% chance of getting pregnant with my own eggs... to moving to an RE who I used to see (at the same clinic) in my 30s... who, after doing a hysteroscopy and an endometrial biopsy... also told me that, basically, at 45, my chances of getting pregnant are zero... and time has run out.

I have not wanted to post on this blog or talk about anything TTC related since that appointment... and I also don't want to forget what this journey is like once I'm done with it.

I don't recall, in my 20s when I was going through secondary infertility, being treated this way... I do recall, in my 30s, being given the 'your eggs are getting too old and you better hurry up' lecture but never, in all of my years on this journey, do I recall being told that it's 'impossible' to get pregnant at my age... the medical gaslighting is real.

And the question that I'm asking myself now is this:

What's MY plan for giving myself my best shot at having a baby with my own eggs?

I'm working out the details of that plan but I'll share a few things I'm NOT going to do:

  1. I'm NOT going to continue working with an IVF clinic that doesn't support me or believe in my body's ability to heal and work as it was intended to through menopause

  2. I'm NOT going to put all of my faith in IVF. My body knows what to do to make, carry and give birth to a healthy baby. It's done it before. It can do it again.

  3. I'm NOT going to give up. After the last meeting with the 2nd RE, I really wanted to give up... but I gave myself 24 hours to process and then allowed my true desire to come through- I believe I can have more children with my own eggs. It's possible and I'm not giving up.

On the more tactical side, there are health issues I KNOW I have the power to change:

  • My diet - my thyroid is an issue; Hashimoto's is an issue; Endometriosis is an issue; I can take care of that by completely changing my diet- the ball's in my court.

  • Meditation- I have not been consistent with meditation in general and spirit baby meditation specifically; I CAN correct that.

  • Mayan Abdominal Massage and Castor Oil Packs- I've started getting more consistent with this; I need to do both on a daily basis in the follicular phase.

  • EDCs- I have not overhauled my house, beauty, and laundry items and still have a TON of Endocrine Disrupting Chemicals in my life. It's time for me to nip that in the bud once and for all.

  • My husband's sperm health- There are supplements that he'll need to go on and will need three months to see the results from. It's time to get vigilant about this piece.

So... at the end of the day, I have to remind myself that I AM empowered, that I have MANY MORE options than what the IVF clinics think I have and it's UP TO ME to make those changes. A doctor can't make those changes for me. A fertility coach can't make those changes for me. Only I can make those changes for me.

Therein lies the power, the opportunity and the challenge. #challengeaccepted

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